towelling off（Don'tLetYourTemperGettheBestofYouTheImportanceofTowellingOffAppropriately）

Don'tLetYourTemperGettheBestofYou:TheImportanceofTowellingOffAppropriately

Let'sfaceit-everybodygetsangryfromtimetotime.Buthowweexpressthatangercanmakeallthedifferenceintheworld.Oneofthemostcommonwaysinwhichpeopleexpresstheirangeristhroughaprocesscommonlyknownastowellingoff.Towellingoffistheactofberatingorscoldingsomeoneforsomethingtheyhavedonewrong.Whiletherearecertainlytimeswhentowellingoffisappropriateorevennecessary,itshouldbedonecarefullyandthoughtfully.Inthisarticle,wewillexploretheimportanceoftowellingoffappropriately,andoffersometipsonhowtodosowithoutcausingunnecessaryharmordamagetorelationships.

TheHarmofInappropriateTowellingOff

Whiletherearecertainlytimeswhenitisappropriatetotowellingoffsomeone,itisimportanttorecognizethatinappropriatetowellingoffcanhaveseriousconsequences.Whenwefailtotakecareinhowweexpressouranger,weriskcausingunintendedharmtothosearoundus.Forexample,anoverlyaggressivetowellingoffcanleadtofeelingsofshame,guilt,andhumiliation-allofwhicharelikelytodamagerelationshipsovertime.Additionally,inappropriatetowellingoffcanleadtoalackoftrustandconfidence,makingitdifficultforpeopletofeelcomfortableconfidinginusorseekingourguidanceinthefuture.

TipsforTowellingOffAppropriately

Ifyoufindyourselfinasituationwhereyouneedtotowellingoffsomeone,itisimportanttodosocarefullyandthoughtfully.Hereareafewtipstohelpensurethatyourtowellingoffiseffective,appropriate,andrespectful:

• Focusonthebehavior,nottheperson-Towellingoffismosteffectivewhenwefocusonthespecificbehaviororactionthatneedstobeaddressed,ratherthanattackingthepersonthemselves.Statethebehaviorinobjectiveterms,andavoidusingjudgmentallanguageorpersonalattacks.
• Use\"I\"statements-Insteadofsaying\"youdidthiswrong,\"trysaying\"Ifeelangrywhenthishappens.\"Thiscanhelptoavoidanaccusatorytoneandkeepsthefocusonhowthebehavioraffectsyoupersonally.
• Listenactively-Effectivetowellingoffinvolvesanopendialoguewheretheotherpersonfeelsheardandunderstood.Listentotheirresponseandbewillingtoconsidertheirperspective.
• Endonapositivenote-Afteryou'vetowelledoffsomeone,reinforcethebehavioryouwanttoseeinthefuture.Acknowledgeiftheyhavelearnedfromtheirmistakeandofferencouragementtocontinuethepositivebehavior.

TheBottomLine

Towellingoffcanbeapowerfultoolforaddressingnegativebehaviorandholdingpeopleaccountablefortheiractions.However,itisimportanttousethistoolresponsiblytoavoidcausingunnecessaryharmordamagingrelationships.Byfocusingonthebehavior,using\"I\"statements,listeningactively,andendingonapositivenote,wecantowellingoffinawaythatisbotheffectiveandrespectful.